I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
