i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize