so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
