Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
