i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
