you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Your cock deserves a montage
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
