Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
