Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
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Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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