nut hugger
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
