I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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