you have to choose: penises or morals?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My life is pants optional.
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