Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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