I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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