i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
