she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
