tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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