Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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