You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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