How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
