My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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