so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
