My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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