we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
did you just send me my own nude
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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