Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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