You work out of a Hotel?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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