We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
