woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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