I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
