OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
