I forgot how hot balto sounded
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
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There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
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Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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