He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
