Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I will die if light touches me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
