Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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