We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
