i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
