How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sext me about skeletons
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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