My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
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