How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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