I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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