She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize