I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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