They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
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And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
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From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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