8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we're chasing vodka with high fives
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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