But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
