Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
