so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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