When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
