there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
