Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I AM VODKA MAN
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
