You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
