She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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