When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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