No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
