i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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