and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize