Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
