I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
