I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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