Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize