Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
