No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
