Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
