so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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