Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
