I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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