A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
