What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
