keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
