Yo dont text me then not text me
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
