I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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