is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
